Loving One Another in the Church

Believers in Christ belong to each other as members of his body, with each member being interdependent on the others. They all share God’s love, which is expressed within Christ’s body in many ways. How they relate to each other within the church is important to the Lord, and that’s why the apostles admonish us in every one of their letters on how to love our brothers and sisters. Many of these admonitions are expressed as “one another” or “each other” commands.

Whenever we see “one another” or “each other” in the New Testament text, we can be sure it addresses how God wants members of Christ’s body to relate to each other. Although we can also apply them to the family or the work environment, these admonitions were intended mostly for the local church. And because they’re addressed to the church, all believers are to practice them. They’re not “spiritual gifts” that only certain people have.

There are a number of them, so let’s look at them one at a time.

Love one another

Loving God is the greatest command. From this one command, all others flow. The next greatest is to love others—in fact all people. But as Jesus taught, the believer’s love for brothers and sisters in Christ should be even deeper:

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.  (John 13:34-35)

The church of Christ should be saturated with the love of God. The world will know who Christ is and what God is like when we love one another. God’s love is the glue that binds together all true believers in fellowship:

Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. (1 Peter 1:22)

All the “one another” admonitions discussed below are an expression of love, and in fact define in real life what love is, fulfilling Jesus’ command in the various areas of our lives.

Serve one another in love

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. (Galatians 5:13)

In serving others, we become more like Christ, our example in servanthood. Though he was God, he came to earth as a servant (Philippians 2:6-7). Before he died, he assumed the role of a household servant and washed his disciples’ feet as an example that we should follow:

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.  (John 13:14)

The ways we can serve others are endless: helping someone complete a difficult task or project, sharing your expertise to help a brother solve a problem, doing household chores or watching kids when a friend is sick or overworked, or just doing menial tasks to lighten someone’s load.

Be devoted to and honor one another

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. (Romans 12:10)

Being devoted to others means committing to their well-being, giving their needs a high priority and placing them ahead of your own.

In honoring others, we see them as new creatures in Christ, as God sees them. This means not putting them down but giving respect, honor, and blessing. Even those who haven’t earned our trust or respect need to be affirmed in their worth and dignity.

Be kind and compassionate with one another

Be kind and compassionate to one another …. (Ephesians 4:32)

Find out about the trials others are going through and seek to minister to their needs. Show compassion to those who have lost their way. Encourage those discouraged by failure or misfortune and don’t just give advice. And don’t just say you’ll pray for them when you could also offer your time or expertise to help them out of their situation.

Show real compassion by ministering to people beaten down by the chaos and confusion of life. Be there for them when they’re hurting:

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15)

Forgive each other

…. forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32).

Forgiveness brings healing and restoration and should be abundant and freely given in the church. We need to forgive as God in Christ forgave us.

God’s forgiveness restores our relationship with him. In the same way, when we forgive someone who has wronged us, our relationship with them is restored. We can then fellowship with them freely and without tension, so we don’t feel tempted to avoid them.

Accept one another

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

There’s a lot of diversity within any local church: different spiritual and emotional maturity levels, different racial and cultural backgrounds, and varying political views. Receive others as your brothers and sisters, even those who are eccentric or greatly different than you. Accept one another when their expressions of faith or worship are different than yours. Allow for differences of opinion in your fellowship.

Some people are still spiritual infants having just begun a walk with God and still have major issues to work out. But Christ has accepted them, and we should accept them as well. This should be a loving and not a grudging acceptance.

Bear each other’s burdens

 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

This means to share each other’s problems and walk with them through their trials and difficulties, giving emotional and physical support. Life is difficult for many people. When we share each other’s burdens, they become lighter and easier to carry.

When we’re strong, we have energy to help those who are going through difficult times. And when others are strong, they in turn can help us when we are weak.

Confess your sins and pray for each other

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  (James 5:16)

The church should be a place where believers can safely share their struggles and sins. And our lives should be open before our brothers and sisters so that we can express our needs easily and sincerely. Hearing the confession of sins is not just an official task for clergy—it’s for every member of Christ’s body.

We are to pray for our wounded brothers and sisters so they heal and be made whole. When they sin, we pray for their restoration. If they’re sick, we ask God to heal them, and when they’re weak, we pray God’s strength for them. When discouraged, we ask God to reassure them. We pray for them because we love them and sincerely want the best for them.

Encourage and build up one another

Life isn’t always easy and many people suffer from discouragement and depression. The church should be a place where people find encouragement and edification.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Encourage means to edify or build up—to give a word of encouragement to the weary soul (Isaiah 50:4). Support those who are going through difficult times and enter into their grief. Inspire them and invigorate their faith. Remind them of God’s goodness and his promises. Giving up should never be an option for those in Christ’s body, because of the support we should be receiving from each other.

Bear with each other

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. (Colossians 3:13)

Everyone has problems, issues, and peculiarities. So, we all need to learn how to put up with each other’s issues and idiosyncrasies.

Bear with one other—we need to put up with others since they also have to put up with us. Listen respectfully when others are talking even though they might not interest you much personally. Forgiving a grievance involves sacrificing our pride and forgetting the offense and any desire for compensation.

Live in harmony with one another

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (Romans 12:16)

Wherever there are people, there will be conflict. But the church is to be a haven away from worldly conflicts and fighting. As believers in Christ, we need to demonstrate our high calling by living peacefully with our brothers and sisters, especially those with whom we fellowship regularly.

Show love and respect to those in the church who are in poverty or come from a lowly background. Never look down on them but consider them family.

Teach and admonish one another

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. (Colossians 3:16)

All believers should allow Christ’s message—the truth of God’s Word— to dwell richly in their personal lives and in their fellowship. This should be through regular personal Bible study and devotions, but also group study, sermons, and worship.

And there are many ways believers can minister God’s Word to others: through formal teaching, counselling, singing, music, and even poetry. When counsel is needed, give it with sincere love and with God’s wisdom. The most effective help comes from those who have gone through similar experiences. If someone needs admonishment, do so with respect, humility, and patience, realizing that all of us can and do fail.

Submit to one another

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

Submitting here means yielding to others and giving preference to them in their needs and desires. We don’t have to have our own way, especially in nonessential matters. If we have strong disagreements, then we don’t pursue a conflict, but give way to the other out of love. When we submit to one another in love, we show that we are Christ’s body, thus giving him honor and reverence.

Spur one another to love and good deeds

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds… (Hebrews 10:24)

Make it your goal to motivate others to practice compassion and to serve. Lead the way by setting an example. Take the initiative and demonstrate leadership. Get involved in a worthy project or ministry, and then take others along with you. By doing so you will be making disciples for Christ.

Offer hospitality to one another

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Peter 4:9)

God’s people should be hospitable. In fact, God commands hospitality, because he gives us our homes not just to meet our own needs, but also for his service. So, prepare your home to have others over. Make it presentable and comfortable—a place of rest, refreshment, and blessing for others to enjoy. Married couples especially are equipped to use their home to minister to the lonely or people without family.

Greet one another

The churches in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the church that meets at their house. All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss. I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand. (1 Corinthians 16:19-21)

The apostle Paul had a large investment in Christ’s church. He wanted the local churches to be welcoming places where God’s love was openly demonstrated. Greeting others is a way to make people feel accepted and welcome. Do we avoid some people in fellowship because we can’t relate to them? Do we not make eye contact because we don’t know them well and don’t really want to know them? May it never be true of us.

Many people come to churches struggling, discouraged, or lonely, and need to be welcomed when they arrive. Having friendly staff or volunteers greet people as they come into a worship service is an important ministry.

Agree with one another

I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.  (1 Corinthians 1:10)

Sharp divisions within the church over personal views strain the unity of the church that Christ has established. Christ is not divided so we shouldn’t be either. Of course, Paul didn’t mean that we have to agree with everyone in the church on every theological or political topic. With these we disagree respectfully. But our goal is to preserve the unity in Christ’s body, and not create conflicts over personal opinions, preferences, personalities, or favorite Bible teachers.

God’s Spirit helps us love

Admittedly, this list is long and somewhat daunting. None of us follow all of these perfectly. But as we walk with God, his Spirit produces in us the fruit that springs from his love. May we walk in love as Christ walked and may God’s Spirit fill us so that we love each other deeply from the heart. The watching world will then know we belong to Christ because we look and live like him.

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